I vow to never treat my children how my parents have treated me.
For quite some time, I deluded myself into believing that I have the greatest parents in the world. While I love them, they seem to be the core of a lot of my problems.
For parents who emphasize religion as part of my daily life, they seem to ignore the aspect of Sikhism that tells everyone to believe they are perfect and flawless the way they are.
If I have a daughter, I’m never going to let her feel insecure or unworthy. For one, my parents have constantly put enormousamounts of stress in my life. At one point, my mom was asking me if it was possible to retake a math test I got a 92 on. I take 6 AP classes, have 2 jobs, occasionally cover my sister’s shifts, and have college apps to do, yet my parents find ways to criticize one thing or another, cause obviously keeping up with all of that and getting a 4.0 isn’t good enough. Point being, all the stress can, as I’m well aware, elicit acne. Thank you very much, I know my face isn’t clear. But, as my parents, don’t look at me and cringe. It hurts, a lot.
I’ve never felt particularly comfortable with myself, either. But I’m never going to let my daughter feel the way my parents have let me feel. I’m never going to greet her in the morning with, “wow you’re so fat” and leave her crying on the way to school. I’m never going to ask her “why do your clothes look tighter?” And then laugh about it with the rest of my family. I’m never going to look at her one day and just say, “you need to exercise.” And I’m never going to say “your sister’s losing weight, what, is it going to you?”
Some part of me deep down knows that my parents do care for me, but ultimately, they don’t show it. They could care less about my accomplishments, because my sister will always be doing something bigger and better. I’m always kept out of the loop in my family, and I’m always the last to know things. I’m left to pay my own emergency room bills and cap and gown costs. My mom wanted a boy, not this piece of shit that disappointed her. And, at the end of the day, it’s the pictures of my sister that are in my dad’s dresser, and not a single one of me.
My parents may have raised a daughter that gets good grades and will be successful, but definitely not one that’s happy.
SOMEONE PUT THESE BY THE STAIRS AT MY SCHOOL
are you ever just reading a book and you come across word that you don’t know how to pronounce so you just go afkjhjdsfsjkdhs in your head
when it’s someone’s name and you have to keep doing that for the rest of the book
and then they make the book into a tv show and suddenly every name is pronounced a certain way and your life is never the same